(I decided since this is my blog, I would write about my life and life experiences.) I have been having a good couple months, but this weekend my emotions got the best of me. My husband will soon be taking the air traffic controller test, I am having a hard time letting God control this situation. I feel like if I'm not in control, he won't pass the test, which then will mean I cannot go back to school. I don't know if it's because the test is coming up so soon that I'm turning into an irrational, emotional wreck I've been crying about money, him going away for training for three months, will I ever finish school? will i ever go back to school? how long will we have to live at my in-laws? will we ever get to stand on our own feet?
Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Why is it so hard to let go. Will we fail sometimes? YES! Will we win sometimes? I HOPE SO! All I want is to be a great mom and wife. I want to be a volunteer at school and at church. I want to be a role model for those who have none. For those who have no hope. No Love. No choice. No chance. I feel like this job is my only way for my plans to work out. I keep thinking my my my. Not yours yours yours. God let your will be done! I only want you to use me for the good of all people, your people.
Getting myself upset over the situation isn't going to make it happen any faster or any better. So why do I worry? We have no backup plan if he doesn't pass this test, so I'm praying we really won't need a backup plan. God is my backup plan. I pray that his will be done and that it may be clear to me what I am to do.
This is such a hard thing to get,and it has to do with all aspects of life.When Tyler was in surgery,it was horrible! I was an absolute nervous wreck,but I realized that I had no control,that it was out of my hands...So several times before,during,and after surgery,I would go in the bathroom and get on my knees and pray.I knew that this was the only answer,the only thing that gave me peace and that no matter what happened,he would get us thru it.I feel so very blessed that things turned out so well.What I'm saying is that,not only is God in control of all things,but he also has a plan,and even though Tyler is going to be fine,he could very well not be with us today,or be paralyzed...We don't always get what we want or maybe we do,but either way,he is in control and with every decision we need to first look to him,and above all give THANKS for all that we do have.
ReplyDeleteYour doing a great job :) and you are a great Mother and a great wife.You just have to be patient...The answers will come. Love you <3