-a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
-a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter-a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
-a member of the same nation, party, etc
-a member of the Religious Society of friends; a Quaker.
If you look up the definition of 'friend' online those are the definitions you find. And if we are calling ourselves friends or others friends, shouldn't this be what we mean? Im finding more and more, especially with girls, we call people friends who don't deserve it. We, at times, can all be bad friends. We turn our "supporting" role into many other things it shouldn't be.
I am not a perfect friend. I have talked about other friends, listened to gossip about other friends. I tend to get very jealous of friends and I have not upheld the title of supporter when they might have needed me the most. But why continue this trend? Who says its too late to turn things around? To be a better friend.
It seems like sometimes we treat complete strangers with more kindness than we would our best friend. We use our friends. We use them to vent to, to borrow their stuff, to use their toys, how can we be sure that we are always there for them? If we are acting selfishly you are not being a friend. It's like being in a relationship, whether it be boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife, we have to act with the others feelings and well being in our mind. If we only use our friends to gossip to or to keep our secrets or to lie for us, we are not being a friend. A friend would not use a friend to lie for them. If you really cared about someone why would you selfishly out them in a position that could hurt them or your friendship?
Jealousy
If we love our friends and care about their well being why do we get so jealous? Everyone has something in their life to be happy for or to look forward to, so why do we dwell on what they have that we don't? I am super jealous at times. I love my friends, but it's really not fair to them if I'm always mopey because I want what they have. I have a husband that loves me and a beautiful daughter that I adore, I have a house and food and 2 paid off cars, I have a relationship with my savior Jesus Christ, so why do I get so down and out? I am constantly on a day to day basis trying to just be happy for my friends. Happy for their life, their accomplishments, everything. I need to be joyful that they are happy.
Bragging
Friends brag. And it sucks. It's one thing to be excited about a new pet, car, outfit, whatever it is, but c'mon, hos nasty is it when you brag? I've bragged and I have friends that brag. Are we so unhappy/unsatisfied with life that we have to make our friends jealous, or make them sin. Ya, sin. It's one of the ten commandments.
10 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”
Okay, so jealous friend and bragging friend are both sinning. Friend: don't make your friend feel like they need something more to compete with you and other friend: be happy with what you have, supprt your friend, be happy for them when they are happy.
Gossip
Okay, so this can get better with age, especially when you are not in school anymore. But really, we were all nasty in middle school and high school. Just stop! Stop and think when you are hearing it or stop when you are saying it. We always think about it too late. "We really shouldn't have said that." But then again, stop telling your secrets! I cannot tell you this enough. Keep private matters to yourself. Sex talk first off shouldn't be in school nor is it something to discuss with your friends. It's like this thing in the back of our minds, we never really think about though, we assume, subconsciously, if a someone tells you a secret, then it's something to be talked about, whether with that person or any persons. We tend to hear and repeat. ANYTHING YOU DO NOT WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW, KEEP TO YOURSELF. We really should be able to have one friend that we can confide in, but in all seriousness how many of us have more than one bff? (I have 2) I really like being able to share things with them. I wish all three of us could be completely open 100% of the time. But sometimes we pick one friend to confide in, it's so hard when you think we are all friends, I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I told the other. We have to stop with this mindset.
I like knowing what's going on with people from high school and if they put it on facebook it must be okay if you know.But when it gets to the point of you telling someone in private and it makes it to facebook or whether you are trying to find something out about them without letting them know, it's rude, it sucks, you would hate it if they did that to you. Just stop. Why do we care. If it's private, it's private. If they wanted you to know they would have told you. If you're not their friend I'm not saying it's not okay to care, but you cant gossip and pry into their lives.
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most importantly friends do not judge. they are not selfish, they truly care for one another.
they want whats best for the other and will do everything in their power to make it happen. friends appreciate each other. make time in you busy lives with your busy schedules and have a date with your friend. they help make life worth living.
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I wrote this a couple blogs ago;
In Matthew 22 a pharisee asked Jesus, what is the greatest commandment? In verse 37, Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments.
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Noun> used to name or identify a person, place, thing, quality, or action
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Let you friendship be an action, not just a word to describe your relationship. Be an ACTIVE FRIEND> love and be loved. respect and be respected, care and be cared for!
Respect your friends. Love them as yourself. If you find that you cannot trust a friend be honest. I cannot trust you. Break the ties that bond you, take a break, if you both come back together and STOP acting selfishly, build a better friendship.
Building a better friendship starts with YOU. YOU need to be the better friend first!
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