Thirsty

Has life left you thirsty? I have been left thirsty many times in my life, but i've never felt so satisfied as I have the past year. Since September 2010 I have made minor changes in my everyday life that have created MAJOR chnages to me. I gave up trying to solve my problems- I gave it all to God. I have never felt so relieved and overall happy and satisfied in my life as I have this past year. I've had some major issues come up and not that I always do what's right or handle situations properly, but God has been there and carried me through. I've lost a baby this pregnancy and have been astranged from family and through it all i haven't felt thirsty, i've felt quenched. 

I feel confident in my choices that have led me to where I am today. I have a supportive group of friends and family, I have found a new way to look at love in my life. I can love my husband and daughter with more than I ever thought I could. I still deal with depression and anxiety but not to the extent I did over a year ago. When I am harassed and picked apart I don't react with the anger and violence that once controlled my emotions. Through trusting God, he has made a new me, a better me. I know my struggles aer not over, and I know that I will continue to fall short and screw up, but I have confidence that the more I trust God to lead me I can continue to be overall satisfied, quenched. I may not be thristy, but I hope I always have the thirst I need to crave God. To crave the good.

Psalm 23:6   Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Loving and leaving

When is it okay to give up? Or is it really giving up at all? When you are put in situations that are out of control or over controlled when is it okay to back out? We are all given families. Our families are made up of biological parents and grandparents, adoptive or step parents and siblings, or sometimes the families we are given don't stick around and our families are made up of friends or even complete strangers. Ultimately we are supposed to love and respect our families, take care of and be taken care of.

In my life I'm in a rough, stressful spot. Whether to leave and love them or stay and fight. It seems the less contact I have, the more I can appreciate and love them. When I am forced into a relationship so unsteady, an emotional rollercoaster for everyone involved and around, it's easier to back out. When the truth is being ignored and twisted to fit, there's no use arguing. When someone argues complete facts, whether they are blind or just choose to ignore to fit what they want to be, it's impossible. Nor can you argue with someone that continues to place all the blame on one person and completely ignores any others involvement in a situation or problem. They can believe or think whatever they want- it's very true to them, but not always true to life and what really happened. It may make them feel better about the way they are acting and reacting to the situation.

When someone continues to persue you and use God against you, listen to God. Not always what the person throws at you but what you read. Responding never helps- arguing your point never works. Rest assured God has laid out many-a scripture for you to take refuge in.

Proverbs (10.19) when words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (12.15) the way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

Just because they are saying God wants you to love and respect your family it doesn't mean you have to sit back and take harassment and lies or put yourself back into the unstable relationship that continues to cause sooo many problems. If you can make peace with your decisions in your heart and with God, then let go. It still hurts to read and hear the nasty rumors and lies that they want people to belive, but as long as you live your life on the right path it will show to the people that matter. Judgments on my actions by people cannot hurt me unless I let them. God will judge me, and since I have a close personal relationship with God he knows exactly how I feel, what I feel, and when I cry out to him for the right answers he helps guide me. I make my own decisions with God's help. Take comfort in that. The devil can use people around you to break- think about it, the emotions and reactions you feel- are they from God or are they devil-driven?? God allows you to be tested, but he wants you to pass, resist the devil- in whatever form he may have.